A LONG TIME AGO
IN A BUREAUCRACY
FAR, FAR AWAY...

EPISODE XLVII-B
THE PEA FARMERS
OF MUMBAI

It was a time of great unrest. Across the subcontinent, two men — JESUS KOWALSKI-HERNANDEZ, a devout Polish-Mexican pea farmer of extraordinary conviction, and JOSE PARK-WIŚNIEWSKI, a Korean-Mexican-Polish pea farmer of equal but differently-oriented conviction — had arrived in Mumbai to sell their peas.

Nobody had asked them to come. The peas were, by all accounts, average.

But something had gone terribly wrong at customs. Jesus had declared his peas under Form AGR-44-C ("Leguminous Goods of Ambiguous National Origin"), while Jose had filed Form AGR-44-D ("Peas, Miscellaneous, Foreign, Possibly Blessed"), and the two forms, when cross-referenced, created a paradox that shut down the entire Mumbai Port Authority for eleven days.

The incident — now known simply as THE PEA INCIDENT — resulted in the deaths of six filing cabinets, two staplers, and the concept of efficient governance itself.

Jesus wept. Jose filed a form about Jesus weeping. Jesus filed a counter-form disputing the accuracy of Jose's weeping-documentation. The forms were lost. The peas rotted.

In their memory, the Ministry of Excessive Paperwork was established. Every citizen must now complete forms — endless, absurd, recursive forms — so that what happened to Jesus and Jose shall never be forgotten.

Also they killed someone. It's unclear who. There are forms about it.

THIS IS THEIR LEGACY.

The Bureau of Redundant Forms thanks Jesus and Jose for their sacrifice.
May their peas rest in peace.
(Form PEACE-REST-PEA-7 required to confirm rest.)